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Stop Wishing You Parented Differently
Your Parenting Style is Your Lifeboat
I sat across the table from my new friend at a bakery. She finished up her lunch while I drank an iced coffee, even though the bitter wind howled outside the window.
We were connected by mutual friends who thought the two of us could help one another professionally, but what we ended up connecting over was being mothers.
I quickly learned that this woman’s baby was born months early. So early that she had to spend the first six months of her life in the NICU. My heart lurched as I listened to her relive that time, watching the pain take a physical hold of her body.
To relate to her, I recounted the two painful parenting experiences I’ve had so far: my two-month-old contracting a bad case of RSV, and the same child, eight months later, having two seizures in 11 days. I told her that I am now obsessive about washing my hands and sanitizing my child’s toys. I said that the cold and flu season has me in a constant state of fear, and that I create unrealistic what-ifs every time my daughter sleeps.
I told her I wish I was a more chill mom.
This woman — this mother who delivered a baby that weighed in at less than a pound — told me, the mom of a perfectly healthy baby, that I am doing exactly what…
