The Guilt of Feeling Happy
Plus Mantras to Find Your Joy
I am a steadfast habit tracker and goal seeker, always aspiring to do/see/feel/experience more. It’s the way I’m wired; I barely even think about this side of me, I just live into it. But while I’m constantly on the hunt for more, I recognize that I’ve got it pretty good. (I wouldn’t say I have it all, I think it’s crass. It’s also untrue.) I get to stay home with my children and soak up every little moment with them I can before they grow up and leave the metaphorical nest. I have a partner who works hard so I can stay home. We’re all in good health, and I get to use my brain in ways that fuel me creatively, getting paid to do something I love. As someone who has known her calling since she was young, this is deeply satisfying.
It’s all satisfying, it’s all providing me with many moments of joy — and yet I want more. Financial freedom, travel, success — I want it all. Enter my cognitive dissonance. Why do I want more when I already have so much? Does that make me greedy and ungrateful?
And then there are those who have less, for whom joy is something they must actively pursue, only to maybe, possibly, if they’re lucky, access it. I feel bad about it, like being so happy — happier than I’ve ever been (except for maybe that year I lived in Italy?) — is somehow not good. Can I celebrate this joy when…
