Things I Wish Didn’t Bother Me, But Do
- My co-worker thinks the sign in the bathroom stall saying “please flush” was written by the male custodian, but it’s clearly cutesy girl handwriting.
- A high school friend unfollowed me on Instagram.
- When I was 10, my cousin asked me for a Starburst but I only had a pink and a red left so I said no.
- People on their phone in the yoga studio before class.
- Miranda July says “farmiliar” when reading her story in The Writer’s Voice podcast.
- I told two pregnant women that their husbands could get their legs bitten off by tigers and it wouldn’t compare to labor contractions.
- I couldn’t finish Zadie Smith’s The Autograph Man.
- One time I meant to say “when my brother was born” but accidentally said “when my brother died.”
- My hair consistently getting caught on the garage door opener in my car.
- The next door neighbor’s walnut trees.
